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Joke of the Day

"Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11."

"Why did Jesus leave the dance floor? Because it was Hammertime'"

"What planet is so big the entire universe can fit in? Ur Anus."

"If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistletoe."

"Dear shaving commercials: please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress us, try shaving a gorilla."

"Autocorrect wants to capitalize bacon, out of respect."

"Want to hear a funny abortion joke? Sorry, couldn't conceive one."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil. It was a number 2 pencil."

"How do you spell that? t-h-a-t"

"Before I do anything important, I always ask myself ""would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"""