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Joke of the Day

"Irony. The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony was. Which is ironic because we were in a restaurant."

"What's the difference between a Hummer and a cactus? A cactus has all the pricks on the outside."

"What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs."

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard"

"What kind of phone does Hades use half the year for making booty calls? The Perse-phone."

"down vote this do it"

"Y'all hear the one about the clairvoyant midget that escaped from prison? The police are searching for a small medium at large."

"You know they've had sex change operations for men for a while now, right? Well they just recently started offering sex change operations for women, too. It's called the ""addadictomy""."

"LPT: Don't waste a bit more money for the brand-name bleach; it isn't any different than the bargain brand They taste exactly the same"

"A British man enters customs at an Australian airport. The officer asks ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The man looks confused and replies ""No, do I still need one?"""