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Joke of the Day

"HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake."

"Hansel: how are we gonna get home Gretel: we should leave some sort of trail Duck: [pitching voice] how about a trail of bread crumbs"

"Blacksmith asked, do you have any experience in horseshoeing? ""Yes, I once told a horse to fuck off."""

"I once visited The Virgin Islands. When I left, they were just called The Islands."

"Nooo shit...me buying too much stuff?! My wife was complaining about the fact that I'm buying too much useless stuff on the internet..... So I sent her back to Thailand."

"How do Reavers clean their harpoons? They put them through the Wash."

"What's the coolest kind of surgery? Hip surgery."

"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"I made this. When you think about it, it is kind of silly that honey contains B vitamins."

"Ever hear about the lost Vikings? Ask the Seahawks."