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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler"

"What did Jay Z call his girlfriend when they were dating? A Feyonce"

"I got my wife a plunger for her birthday... because she just LOVES bringing up old shit."

"Uppercuts a horse. Creates the first girrafe."

"Why can't accountants get library cards? They're book-keepers."

"Pornography is often frowned upon. But that's only because I'm concentrating."

"A Weed Whacker is not as sexy as it sounds"

"German sausage is the wurst."

"Old Man and his Babies"

"When a jury found Chuck Norris guilty of murder, the judge sentenced himself to death rather than sentencing Chuck Norris to anything."