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Joke of the Day

"I love the compliments my boss gives like ""wow you're on time today"" and ""great job ignoring dress code again""."

"Customs Police: Do you have anything to claim? Me: A hot dog is a sandwich. Cop: ""Please step out of the vehicle"""

"My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night... So I said I had a headache."

"How do you say goodbye to an epileptic? Seizure later"

"Want to hear a joke? Women's rights"

"Did you hear how Mexico announced it's solving their country's housing crisis? The Mexican government has decided to build apartment"

"Why were the welder and stoner such good friends? They both love to spark up joints."

"do you know what 6.9 is? It's a period ruining a beautiful thing."

"*Shoves a guy* I think you mean the SECOND biggest ""The Sound of Music"" fan on earth, bro."

"Sometimes I like to stick a band aid on the middle of my forehead and when somebody asks what happened I tell them I got shot."