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Joke of the Day

"[Adam and Eve in bed] Adam, am I really the only girl for you? GOD EVE, YOU'RE LITERALLY THE ONLY GIRL ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH"

"ME: I hate owls [Owl turns his head 180] OWL: What? ME: Oh I didn't see you there OWL: Are you talking behind my back? ME: I'm...I'm not sure"

"Sitting around the outdoor campfire I chuckle to myself My friend asks, what's so funny? I reply, ""I can't tell you out here, it's an inside joke."""

"I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples? I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice. And that's just off the top of my head."

"And the lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and received a toaster."

"Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you."

"Why did the medium cross the road? To get to The Other Side! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

"I work 24/7 - which is about 3.42 hours."

"Why are white prisoners so scary? Because you know they did it."

"Darling, will you catch me if I jump into the water?' Darling, if I say yes, will you jump?"