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Joke of the Day

"Nothing like an 8:00 meeting on a Monday morning to remind you that your best years are behind you."

"How do you keep an amish girl happy? Two men a night."

"I just saw Jurassic World... It was DINO-mite!!! A'thank you, I'll show myself out."

"Why did the girl reject the landfill owner? His place is a dump"

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night He hypnotised 7 blokes then dropped the microphone on his foot and said 'fuck me!' What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life"

"Thanks, baby Jesus, for helping me get that new job instead of helping millions of children find water and food. I know it was a tough call."

"Caller: I'm your worst nightmare. Me: Whaaat?? You're a sugar free cookie??"

"A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer."

"My book on tantric sex finally arrived. Damn thing took ages to come."

"[Nsfw] How do you know you have a high sperm count? She has to chew before swallowing"