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Joke of the Day

"ME: I wonder if it wrestles cutely too? ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the panda enclosure. ME: lol. No. *gets mauled to death by panda*"

"Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York"

"12: I hate school. Me: Hey! Perk up! Years from now you'll look back on this as the best time of your life! 12: Now you're just being mean"

"[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]"

"Why was Mary Jane not a virgin? Her mother leaves."

"I've got a joke. The U.S. election system."

"Which is the quickest way to make someone lose? The game."

"There should be a warning on these math books. Something along the lines of ""Beware the additive properties"""

"A dead battery walks into a bar,and asks for the price of a pint of beer. The barman responds, ""For you, sir, no charge."""

"I can count the number of times I actually used a flyer on one hand... And still have five fingers remaining."