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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Apple reportedly prepping electric car. Battery life is expected to be about an hour, with a 2 foot charging cable."

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry. Ben is in a coma."

"SANTA: Mhm, and I see here that you have the power of flight, which wo- SUPERMAN W/ ANTLERS TIED TO HIS HEAD: Look, I really need this job."

"Wanna hear a joke about a pizza? Nm, it's too cheesy."

"Why did the scientist regret naming the organism ""Fungus""? Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy."

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to resist sexting Oprah during my morning commute."

"When I die I'd like to be cremated I think I've urned it."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was."

"What's the most logical country? AND OR a"

"I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators. I've been taking steps to avoid it."