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Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river? Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed?"

"A couple of Irishmen are walking down a dirt road . . . The come across a sign that says ""Tree Fellers Wanted"". One of them says to the other, ""To bad there's only two of us."""

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we shot the last one who had a dream."

"Why did the plant get sentenced to death? Cause bush did 9/11"

"Two birds are sitting on a perch. One bird says to the other, ""Do you smell fish?"""

"[texting] So what's your name? ""ily"" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?"

"I justified buying a PS3 because I knew I could always use it to just watch movies, and now that's the only reason I still have it. A 250GB hard drive holds a shitload of internet porn"

"How do people in Iowa get elections? By watching corn!"

"This is serious as a heart attack but not one of those funny heart attacks. Those make me laugh."

"FIRST PERSON TO USE AN IRON: This battle hammer does wonders for my enemies' shirts!"