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Joke of the Day

"BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?"

"I have an eating disorder... I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets."

"Girl: ""all boys are the same"" Yes, because Zac Efron, Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama share extreme similarities."

"[NSFW] What's the Difference Between Peanut Butter and Jam? I can't peanut butter my dick in your ass."

"Why do japanese have small eye slits? because nuclear explosions are so fucking bright. (i'm going to hell for this)"

"What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period"

"I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today. I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead."

"My friends hosting a charity night for people who can't reach orgasms I told him i'll let him know if i can't come."

"If we can afford to have armed guard for our money at the banks, surely we can afford to have armed guards for our kids at schools. Where are your priorities people?"

"I ordered a book on near death experiences. The anticipation almost killed me."