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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend got a dog, ""Missy."" She messes inside a lot though, especially if I show too much attention to the dog."

Next Joke
 
"Where did the zombie go on his night out? To the st**rip** club."
"I just burnt 1200 calories... I forgot the pizza in the oven. : /"
"[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here"
"I tried to disrupt my bio teacher today and asked her what her favorite codon was She said stop"
"Bigfoot is like a father to me... ... I've only ever seen him in photos, never in real life."
"The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer."
"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child? Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window."
"To everybody whose birthday is today. I am sorry that your birthday was not yesterday, otherwise you would have had a puny birthday."
"How does a metalworker like his Steak cooked? wel-dern"