27675

Joke of the Day

"Budweiser is a lot like sex on the beach; It's fucking close to water."

"""The Spoon"" Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. . Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ""We have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"So Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Do you want a beer?"" Descartes responds, ""I think not!"" poof. he disappeared"

"What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States? We wouldn't have to pay her as much."

"I don't need a stable relationship, I just need a stable internet connection."

"Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument? He was baroque."

"I wasn't sure about having sex with aliens Butt fuck 'et"

"Donald Trump walks into an elevator... and a gorgeous woman is inside and says, ""When the doors close, I could drop to my knees and blow you."" Trump replies, ""And what's in it for me?"""

"""Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It's just air!"" Exactly ""What?"" It's inflation ""I hate you"""