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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo Bean? I haven't had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What do you call a vagina that talks back to you? An answering cervix"

"Your dog is better than your wife. Don't believe me? Lock them both in your trunk for an hour and then see who's happy when you open it."

"What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around? BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM"

"Spain's king, Juan Carlos, has stepped down from the throne to make way for his son, who is more popular. Which, by the way, would be the worst ""Game of Thrones"" episode ever."

"A Mexican magician tells an audience he can disappear at the could of three. He counts ""One, two, *poof*"" He disappeared without a tres."

"the latest news from the boston bombing authorities think it was race related."

"How many babies can fit in a blender? Depends how powerful the blender is"

"Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal? He wasn't cut out for this."

"Some people said my dog was too scared to shit itself... Then I replied ""That's why I have to beat them."""