36383

Joke of the Day

"My buddy said he'd give his right arm to be ambidextrous I can only admire such dedication."

"The hoodie & shorts combo outfit, because you almost understand how body heat works."

"Ben Carson ZZZzzzzzz"

"What did the blonde do after she combed her hair? .. She pulled her pants up."

"What do you call a rhetorical fish? Sharkasm."

"I was highly offended until I realised HR were calling me incompetent and not incontinent."

"Money can buy happiness. Give me 100 million dollars and I'll prove it to you."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to ""Hey Arnold"""

"Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned? Because they all have terrible pilots."

"I've never once used the ""C word"" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts."