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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""I'm trying to type the word 'fucking.'"" My iPhone: ""Huh? Surely you mean 'ducking.'"" Me: ""No, I mean 'fucking'."" My iPhone: ""Bullshot."""

"What do you call a gay drive by? A Fruit roll up"

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."

"What kind of bees give you milk Boobies"

"What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? They fasten their sheet (seat) belts."

"Wanna hear a pickup line? ***HONK HONK HOOOOOONK HONK HOOOONNK***"

"I just saw a ghost with Tourrets. Fuckboo to you too."

"I just can't stay mad at Monday when it happens to be a day off from work."

"That awkward moment the drug dealer charges you extra for the briefcase."

"A penis lives a sad life.. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, neighbor is an asshole, best friend is a pussy and owner beats him."