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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a pickup line? ***HONK HONK HOOOOOONK HONK HOOOONNK***"

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"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 'ate' 9 xD"
"Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin? Because it was a kitty fiddler."
"So, a rapist, a sadist, and a pothead walk into a bar and order a beer... The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive backfield here."""
"Still haven't mastered the art of gracefully taking off a sweatshirt."
"I came home today to find that all of my lamps had been stolen I was absolutely delighted."
"True story: 5 year old me was asked by a backhoe operator, ""Hey Buddy, you wanna drive one of these when you grow up?"" ""No, my Dad wants me to go to college"""
"[invention of blue cheese] ""this cheese has gone off"" sell it ""but it's gone mouldy"" I SAID SELL IT! ""fine"" & double the price ""are u ok?"""
"What do you call an Asian woman with a white boyfriend? A sex slave."
"What do you call it when a chickpea gets killed? Hummuside"