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Joke of the Day

"Meeting with a social media consultant about how to better leverage my twitter stream for optimum engagement. Kidding. Banging your mom."

"Hairdresser: How much should I trim off the back? Me: Leave it long enough for him to wrap around his fist twice."

"How much does a moil get paid for circumcision? Ninety-nine dollars plus tips."

"We shouldn't send our trash into space, that's how you get space raccoons"

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag? You take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way""."

"You're in love? Cool, I'm in sweatpants."

"I got a new pair of gloves today but they're both 'lefts' Which, on the one hand, is great"

"What did the redneck say to his girlfriend after they broke up? ""Its ok, we can still be cousins."""

"Prince The artist formerly known as alive"

"Low key just wanna defeat Thor and rule Asgard"