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Joke of the Day

"I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant."

"How is cribbage like anal sex? In both, scoring involves pegging."

"A Roman walks into a bar Holds up two fingers and says five beers please."

"Feminists are basically Lesbians who don't want to admit it."

"This Christmas I got a new car for my wife. I thought it was a great trade."

"Waiter: Ready to order? Me: Yes, what goes well with an overbearing sis-in-law with delusions of grandeur? W: ... M: ... W: ... M: Whiskey."

"What do toys and boobs have in common? They're both made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them."

"I once met a girl with 3 boobs Everyone called her triceratits"

"I just recently bought a used car and I took it back 2 days later. ""This car is useless. It doesn't go past 60 up a hill."" ""60 uphill is really good. What's wrong with that?"" ""I live at 74."""

"What kind of disease do you get from birds? Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable."