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Joke of the Day

"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night-First question was What the f*ck are you looking at?"

"Plunging... ...is like performing CPR on your toilet."

"how does jesus make coffee? hebrews it."

"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."

"What's worse that burning the turkey on thanksgiving? Being a starving African Child."

"I once met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds weird.... ...Dozen tit?"

"What's green and turns red at the push of a button? A frog in a blender."

"What do you call a Canadian rap group? Poutine Clan"

"""Errors in pronunciation eventually become part of the language if used widely enough over a long period of time"" linguists, supposably"

"Sitting across from a table of cops at a restaurant and convinced im going to get arrested for how gross I look eating this chicken wrap"