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Joke of the Day

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"BALD FLEAS Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless."

"Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it."

"If I could be any X-Men I think I'd pick Professor X. Don't really care about the mind-reading stuff I just hate walking."

"25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated."

"What did the statistician say to the hooker as he pulled out his 5.2-inch manhood? ""I heard you suck a mean cock"""

"A guy walks into the psychiatrists office where I work wearing nothing but Saran Wrap undies... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"I've installed some complaining-powered lightbulbs in my bedroom They occasionally turn off, but never for more than 5 seconds"

"What do you call a Jewish, German clergyman? Jew das Priest."

"My girlfriend is the undisputed queen of not giving a fuck But it's all good. Her sister is plenty wild for the both of them"