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Joke of the Day

"BALD FLEAS Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless."

"I totally had gender with a girl. #thesaurus"

"So, Lieutenant Dan walks into a bar..."

"Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get your head in between those teeny legs?"

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Babe, does this mole look suspicious to you? *Points at mole wearing sunglasses and a raincoat*"

"*stares into the abyss* *abyss pretends it's doing something on its phone*"

"I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food"

"Ignorance is a palindrome"

"Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do. Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this."