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Joke of the Day

"what do Little Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? Kurds in the way"

"I noticed that my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered veeerrryyy slooowwwly, because she obviously doesn't listen."

"I like my coffee how I like my women... Cold and bitter"

"A mother moth was telling her baby moth off saying ""If you don't eat all your cotton you won't get any satin."""

"*Receives good, solid, sound advice. *Does exact opposite."

"Everyone sings ""Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You"" to their selfies, right guys? Guys?..."

"every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day but every year you pass your death day and have no clue"

"Fun Fact: You can edit and crop a selfie so that we aren't able to see the cataclysmic disaster of dirty clothes in the background!"

"If you didn't get called to a meeting with your 5-yr-old son's principal because he was inviting girls to his ""naked party,"" you aren't me."

"If our last names came from the jobs of our ancestors... Then I feel really bad for the boys of the ""Dickinson"" family tree."