219591
Joke of the Day
"*Receives good, solid, sound advice. *Does exact opposite."
Next Joke
"A fun thing to do is comment ""that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night"" on all my married friends Facebook family photos"
"Everything my boy friend ever said to me was a lie. Every. Fcuking. Thing. Except the part about how pretty I was, that was true."
"What happens when a question mark and an exclamation mark love each other very much? They [interrobang!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang)"
"What is the difference between a grizzly bear and a limp dick? There isn't one, you can't fuck with either one."
"Laziness Level: I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries"
"When you accidentally type ""me"" instead of ""my"" I read your tweets as if you are a leprechaun."
"Can a ninja throw a star? Shur-He-Can"
"Why don't Muslims use contractions of words? Because in Islam, the penalty for apostrophe is death."
"When you get pulled over by a cop... A cop pulled me over and said ""Papers..."" So I said ""Scissors!"" and drove off ; )"