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Joke of the Day
"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands."
Next Joke
"ME: hey baby HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: HOT GIRL: ME: *looks closer* HOT GRILL: ME: oh"
"Food Network makes me feel like a perv: Beat it It's not moist enough My wrist is tired Look how thick it's getting It's all about flavor"
"Why can't anyone tell my dads fat? Cause he grew up in Pawtucket."
"When somebody unfollows me, I want to go on a shopping spree and walk into their house while holding bags and say, ""Big mistake. Big. Huge!"""
"How do you circumcuse a whale? You send four skin divers down to it"
"What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene? A flossiraptor"
"Hey Tim Burton, it's okay to be out of ideas."
"Friend: I'm pregnant Me: You should have just got a dog"
"1992: Girls got undressed for their husbands. 1995: Girls got undressed for money. 2012: Girls get undressed for likes on Facebook and Instagram"