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Joke of the Day

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas. I'll show myself out"

"Never accept a rap battle from a cricket unless you know more than five words that rhyme with chirp."

"After getting off the ski lift, my mate said ""Let's go hit the slopes!"" I'm like, ""Why do you want to beat up those Japanese tourists?"""

"An old teacher asked her student... ""If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?"" The student replied, ""It is obviously past."""

"In honor of today, ""Knock Knock..."" Whose there? 9-11. 9-11 who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!! :("

"My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts. I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, ""I WIN! I WIN!"""

"16yo [talking w friend]: fam that's lit af, tell bae and the squad that it's on fleek PARENT: *calls 911* i think my kid's having a seizure"

"I was about to make a joke about Jupiter and a spacecraft... ... but how did Juno about it?"

"My friend said to me ""people do not change"" I told him to empty his pockets."

"The Pope walks into a synagogue the Rabbi asks, ""Why the wrong faith?"""