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Joke of the Day

"16yo [talking w friend]: fam that's lit af, tell bae and the squad that it's on fleek PARENT: *calls 911* i think my kid's having a seizure"

"I read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. At first I hated it, but by the end I loved it."

"When Yuri Gagarin was a kid, he dreamt to be the first one in outer space ... ... but some bitches beat him to it."

"[rugby] Looks like Australia was in trouble there for a while... But in the end they got off Scot-free."

"What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit? ""He did gnat see that coming"""

"Michael Jackson to be recycled"

"I've accepted the fact that being cremated is my last hope for a smoking, hot body."

"I recently met an indian baker who claimed to be socially rebellious He called himself a Naan-Conformist."

"The last item on my bucket list is dying. How convenient."

"I'm listening to U2 acapella recordings. Just needed to take The Edge off"