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Joke of the Day

"*Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*"

"some terrible part of me is perpetually close to just making and selling artisinal customized tamagotchis & bein real pretentious about it"

"Check for bed bugs by yelling ""Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!"", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire."

"So anyone know how much a Polar Bear weighs? About enough to break the ice..........."

"Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet"

"What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector? One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at."

"Why didn't Ronda go to Prom? she got Holm schooled &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; [/r/funny told me to go here >.>]"

"""War and Peace 2: Woody Saves Buzz"" (Tolstory)"

"Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant? Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk."

"What did one gay sperm say to another gay sperm? How do we find an egg in all this shit? Credit to my friend telling me"