26688

Joke of the Day

"How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with? (NSFW) By giving them an oral test first. ""If you can gag me, you can shag me!"""

"What do you call an alien that's also a pedophile? An Extramolestrial"

"Don't forget to smile today, but not that creepy smile that makes us all wonder how many bodies are buried in your yard."

"What type of people can you not stand? People in wheelchairs"

"Why couldn't C.P.E. Bach find his contemporary? He was Haydn."

"Happy New Year! Welcome to 20!"

"I don't believe in most conspiracies....but 7-11 IS an inside job."

"ME: Man, Nosferatu is a good film HIPSTER: I preferred the original M: Original? What original? H: Nosfera One."

"I feel like this election ended up being a good thing for Hilary Clinton. At least now she knows what it feels like to get fucked by the president."

"What do you call a fat guy with an unhealthy interest in his mother? Adipose Rex."