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Joke of the Day

"I wear the pants in this family. It's so embarrassing when I go to Olive Garden, and the rest of my family is naked from the waist down."

"Why do lesbians only shop at REI? Because they don't like Dick's."

"When is the worst time to get Cancer? North of the equator."

"""hey is that a banana in your pock--"" *his pants open* *a banana steps out* *it walks towards you* *it hugs you* ""u have freed me. thank u"

"My buddy used to say ""why should I wash my towels? After I shower, I'm the cleanest thing in the room."" He's still single."

"What were the yoga instructor's last words when he got electrocuted? Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

"I caught my girlfriend giving a midget a blowjob... ...I can't believe she'd stoop that low."

"Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges? As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange."

"A man in tights was found near a rock. What happened? Superman committed suicide."

"So a cannibal walks into a hospital delivery room And the doctor says, ""can I help you??"" The cannibal says, ""I'll have what she's having."""