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Joke of the Day

"My buddy used to say ""why should I wash my towels? After I shower, I'm the cleanest thing in the room."" He's still single."

"Dodged the bullet A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman."

"What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino? Hell if I know."

"iPhone 5s fitted with fingerprint recognition. I'll sleep easier knowing that if my phone gets stolen, they'll likely chop off my hand too."

"A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams ''Nein! Nein!'' So two guys walk away."

"if you open Door.jar, is the door still ajar?"

"What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? It made him wed his plants! "

"Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger... at least one of them anyway."

"Friend: Did Eric survive the bear attack? Me: 'BEAR'-ly! F: HA! Any injuries? Me: {nervously} Ooooohhhhh BAD JOKE... He's definitely dead..."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today ""Woo, sounds fun."" Dozen tit!"