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Joke of the Day

"Tom Cruise has never starred in a movie where his character description didn't include the word ""hotshot."""

"Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment? Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills"

"What did Ghandi say when he was in the toilet? ""I'm having a movement"""

"wow. chess is like a whole different game when you play it with your clothes on. was it always like that, grandpa? cause I don't like it."

"What do pedophile sex-tourists and napalm have in common? They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under a minute."

"Biologist screws up: Mutant killer virus Physicist screws up: Deadly black hole Geologist screws up: Rock on table is now rock on floor"

"""Oh man, you've got stretched lobes and piercings? I've got stretched lobes and piercings, too!"" ""Sweet! We should hang out!"" - Ear buds"

"How many black people does it to pave a driveway? One. You just have to spread him real thin."

"""do you know why I pulled one over on you?"" becau- wait what? ""I'm not a real cop lol"" haha nice! *pulls gun* ""I am taking your car though"""

"My girlfriend said ""I've got an itch between my toes"". So I asked ""Which toes?"". She answers ""My big toes""."