198976

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment? Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills"

"Seeing the leaves change in autumn always reminds me of my Grandpa. He died falling out of a tree too."

"I used to be in an animal rights group... But that was before i screwed the pooch."

"Yesterday in the World Cup, England beat Germany for the first time in recorded history. In fact, it's the first time England has won anything on the 4th of July."

"[day 1] hello, world [day 2] bit less wobbly today [day 7] making other deer friends. getting funny looks tho [day 26] turns out i'm a hippo"

"If you have Parkinson's disease... ...that means you stutter in sign language."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes"

"What does the closed sign at a brothel say? Beat it, we're closed."

"If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year."

"Why did Chewbacca cross the road? WWWRRRRRRGWWWRRRR!"