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Joke of the Day

"In my will I am leaving everything to the imagination."

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"Many racist Trump supporters were stung by Clinton's speech calling them a ""basket of deplorables."" The rest had to go look up ""deplorable."""
"Executioner : Due to the power-cut we'll be using the acoustic chair."
"My friend told me how electricity was measured. And I was like watt."
"Men are like parking spots... The good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped."
"My two year-old has begun shouting ""The end!"" in a sing-song voice when he wants you to stop talking to him. Going to try this myself."
"What's the difference between me and a calendar? You can't fuck the shit out of a calendar"
"I used to think it was cool to be into guys 10+ years my senior but turns out all they want to do is talk about tv shows I never watched"
"How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He didn't wrap his Whopper"
"What time of day was Adam born? Just a little before Eve"