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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks. All credit to Emo Phillips."

"If you play the ""Strawberry Fields Forever"" record backwards, you can quietly hear your roommate saying, ""Get a job, Megan."""

"You must have been born on a highway... ...because that's where most accidents happen. Thanks random kid on CS:GO."

"Just farted in my cat's face. That's what we call a power move, gentlemen."

"Fertilizer Plant Explosion This fertilizer sucks, all these plants are dead!"

"Why do traffic lights never go swimming? Because they spend too much time changing."

"I just had a breakthrough....!! I should probably pull my finger out and get some stronger toilet paper...."

"What was the name of the lumberjack in Al-Quaida? Osama-Been-Loggin'"

"Do you know how to make a Venetian Blind? Poke them in the eye"