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Joke of the Day

"If you play the ""Strawberry Fields Forever"" record backwards, you can quietly hear your roommate saying, ""Get a job, Megan."""

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"Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR"
"'A confident swipe of the debit card' is my favorite fantasy."
"Who's the nicest guy at the hospital? The ultrasound guy"
"What do you call a potted cactus that has grown in the shape of a penis? A dildon't"
"What did the hero say during the September 11 attacks? ""Allah akbar!"""
"What is the one type of person that will never get angry? A nomad."
"A priest, a rabbi and a duck all walk into a bar... [put your best punchlines in the comments, I couldn't think of anything]"
"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"
"Make a sentence with the following words 'elephant' 'ant' 'ass' 'in' and 'bamboo' Ant in an elephant's ass"
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