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Joke of the Day

"They say it's impossible to be sad and happy at the same time My wife just told me I have the biggest dick out of all my brothers."

"A 13 yr old just told me I was cool for an old person. I almost slapped her then she said ""you're like 23, right? I bought her ice cream."

"You always agree with me and like what I say even if you don't believe me. What am I? An upvote"

"Why did my ex gf Fav my tweet where I announced that I got laid off. Why did you do that sharon"

"I went Christmas shopping at Best Buy..."

"Why do blonde girls have bruises on their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too!"

"I bought 37 self-help books today... I just couldn't help myself."

"How would the Mexican Star-Spangled Banner begin? Jose can you see"

"So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke."

"my favorite game is called ""Secret Family."" I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me"