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Joke of the Day

"You always agree with me and like what I say even if you don't believe me. What am I? An upvote"

"That awkward moment when you're supposed to be cleaning your room and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one."

"I don't understand why fat people get so much hate? They have love handle's not hate handle's"

"I'm not saying you're a jackass but... You're the kind of guy who would buy Anne Frank a drum set."

"It's sad that a few fake Nigerian princes have ruined it for all the good Nigerian princes who are just looking to wire 24 million dollars."

"Just saw a guy at the gym with only 1 arm. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is? Seriously, I don't know, I'm leaving..."

"Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes? Because they're paid to."

"Things that we wished were delivered 1. Taco Bell 2. OP 3."

"In regards to the recent ruble crash in Russia A Russian boy asks his father ""Daddy, can I have 5 ruble for buy milk bread and vodka?"" His father replies ""20 ruble? What you need 50 ruble for?"""

"There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini"