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Joke of the Day

"You always agree with me and like what I say even if you don't believe me. What am I? An upvote"

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"Perhaps Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station."
"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. He holds it up, and the world revolves around him to screw it in."
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish person? None"
"On our first date, i'll carve our initials onto a tree. Because it's the most romantic way to let you know that I have a knife"
"'C' has just been promoted to the second letter of the alphabet! However R & D believe the rise in C levels will result in a loss of B's."
"Your momma's so fat... she's diabetic."
"What do you get when ant's parents won't let him marry his girlfriend? Antelopes."
"What is 007's favorite subject at school? Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!"
"What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ? Jack-u-la !"