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Joke of the Day

"What did the hungry dyslexic order at the movie theater? Cop porn * This is probably already a joke but I'm experiencing a huge coffee crash so it was hilarious to me."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten"

"I asked a friend if he'd eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked ""From whose dog?"" I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor."

"I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting. What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?"

"What do you call a cow thats had a hysterectomy? Decaffeinated."

"Killing mosquitoes by smashing them in mid-air as they fly by is so satisfying until you accidentally hit a person in the head."

"My wacky Lutheran parents think my fiance is methane based because they don't belive in carbon dating."

"A man is dying of cancer... But he tells everyone he's dying of aids His son asks him why. He replies ""So no one will have sex with my wife when I'm gone"""

"Did you hear about the new cologne Chris Brown put out? I heard it was a real hit with the ladies."

"My kids don't like when I drink, but if it wasn't for alcohol, they wouldn't even be here."