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Joke of the Day

"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He's a serial killer named Terrence Fishman & he plans to kill you Monday"

"When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face? When her moustache is on fire!"

"Two atoms are walking down the street.... Two atoms walking down the street. One says, ""Damn, Ive lost an electron"". ""Are you sure?"" ""Yep, I'm positive""."

"If you were a browser, you'd be called FireFoxy."

"My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed. His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before. Sorry Gene. We still love you."

"I'm only leaving the house today so my selfies will have new backgrounds."

"Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany? Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race..."

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and he slams in down in one gulp. ""What do I owe ya?"" asks the neutron. ""For you? No charge."""

"Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm."

"I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you."