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Joke of the Day
"I thought that whale movie was super offensive.... ...because of all those actors in Blackfish."
Next Joke
"me *walks into house* wife: Where are the kids? me *turns around and goes back out*"
"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast."
"Taco Bell doesn't have a playground, because kids that eat Taco Bell can't climb, or run."
"interviewer: what is ur weakness? me: follow up questions interview: care to elaborate? me: [quivers with fear]"
"Burping up Taco Bell is like returning to the scene of the crime"
"Is there an easy way to leave a dance circle or do I have to die here?"
"What do you call four drowning Mexicans? Cuatro cinco"
"Q: Did you hear about the girl who skipped rope while she read? A: She jumped to conclusions."
"Psychiatrist ""Tell me about your trust issues."" Me ""No"""