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Joke of the Day
"I tried committing suicide once... never doing that again, I almost killed myself."
Next Joke
"Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works."
"It's that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year."
"I need ideas for April fools day pranks to play on my SO"
"Guys are all, ""Wanna go to my bachelor party?"" because asking, ""Wanna hang out in a room and get boners together?"" would be gross."
"ME: The plane has wifi? Sweet, I'm going to Skype call that radio psychic. RADIO PSYCHIC: Go ahead caller, you're on the air ME: HOLY SHIT"
"im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason"
"My weightlifting trainer told me the key is ""If it burns, it grows"" So I lit my cock on fire"
"Why does Kim Jong Un have an email? So he can eat all the spam."
"How do trees access the internet? They log on"