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Joke of the Day

"I'm returning this head of lettuce. It tastes awful. ""Sir, that's a loofah."" Oh. I'm returning this loofah. Someone took a bite out of it."

"Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid)."

"Nobody in this neighborhood ever got along until we all hated your rooster."

"My friends always told me I couldn't say my S's right. I never noticed it until I heard a recording of myself talk. Suddenly, it all made shensh after that."

"Someone asked me today where I'll be in 5 years... Seriously? I'm wearing glasses, you know I don't have 2020 vision."

"I sat in traffic this morning and my inner child wants to know if we're there yet."

"What do we want ? Race-car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww"

"They ran out of bread at the Indian restaurant, but it turned out nobody cared. It was a naan issue."

"Confucius say virginity like giant bubble One prick, all gone"

"Money can't buy you happiness. But I'd rather be unhappy in a Bentley."