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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me today where I'll be in 5 years... Seriously? I'm wearing glasses, you know I don't have 2020 vision."

"Whoever first said ""No news is good news"" never had their cable & Internet go out for two days"

"The Seventh Sense: ""I can smell dead people."""

"What do you call a fat person with Tally marks on their stomach? A tally tubby."

"What do we want? An Iphone for fat fingers! When do we want it? BOW!"

"Why did H blow itself up? Because G had."

"""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Customer: ""Nah...she's purdy good lookin'..."""

"How many men do a feminist need to make her sandwich? two. One from front and another from behind."

"Why do Mexicans eat so many beans? Because they're versatile, a good value, and contain lots of protein you racist fuck."

"/r/jokes http://i.imgur.com/i9mD9jZ.gifv I don't remember what that link is, used this cuz reddit says I need text here to post."