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Joke of the Day

"What did Justin Bieber's biggest fan say to him when they met? nothing, hes a fan."

"What did the lonely ghost do at 2 in the morning? He made a booo-ty call"

"When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me."

"Didn't sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done."

"Got to THE GATES and St. Peter said, ""Go home you're drunk!"" Just another time alcohol saved my life."

"What do you call someone who would do *anything* for a chocolate snack cake? A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)"

"If ""The Purge"" was real, I'd hide in Aeropostale cause no one has been there since like 2009"

"Excited for Downton Abbey tonight. According to DVR description, ""Lord Grantham gets pissy when a lady challenges the class system."" Oh boy!"

"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."

"If I've learned anything from listening to world news, it's that the world is full of countries I've never even heard of. (An American)"