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Joke of the Day

"Innkeeper: The room is $45 per night. It's $35 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?"

"Girls call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"An old lady at the park said to me today, ""I see your dog's fetching balls.""I said, ""I know he has but, at your age, you shouldn't really be looking."""

"Knock knock Who's there A gorgon. A gorgon who? 420 gaze it. Geddit. Because then you'd be stoned? Okay, sorry I'll leave."

"I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well we had to you know she was dead."

"PS4 - 29 Titan looking for fresh vog normal PSN allynlewis182"

"I once hung out with Dwyane Johnson and Danny Trejo... ...and I was literally stucked between the Rock and a hard face. ^^"

"Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love."

"twitter is obviously Japanese, it wants us to hate whales as much as it does"