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Joke of the Day
"twitter is obviously Japanese, it wants us to hate whales as much as it does"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend once used Vaseline when she gave me a handjob . . I came four or five times trying to wash it off."
"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are sold for a couple of dollars, and deer nuts can be found under a buck."
"Meow meow meow [Wife comes home early] MEOW! *cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack* THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU"
"I fell out of a tree and landed on an antelope. I was impala'd"
"Illiterates won't understand this joke."
"What does an egg say to a pot of boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick."
"How wonderful of you to... ...kick me when I'm down. You'd be a great LAPD officer."
"Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction."
"What's a ghost like to drink on the weekend? Booze (Kill me now)"