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Joke of the Day

"If you post a pic of the temperature in your car on Facebook the University of Phoenix will email you a Meteorology degree."

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"[Starwars] How can you tell Luke is Uncircumcised? Because he has Force Kin."

"What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster? You pop up all night."

"You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other. Isn't it ionic?"

"Your momma is so old.... she used to get off on fifty slates of grey"

"People used to laugh at me when I said ""I want to be a comedian."" Well, nobody's laughing now."

"Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too."

"It's not called ""Laura the Explorer"" because if a little white girl gets lost in the woods, CNN shows up with the FBI."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the teeth."