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Joke of the Day

"I tried to change my password to Twilight. But there was an error saying it contained too many useless characters."

"You know you just can't tell Penguin jokes. They just don't fly"

"What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad."

"What do a bunch of celebrity nudes have in common with a stiff breeze? They both can cause reddit's servers to crash."

"One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers."

"Wife said she was 'retaining water' and I said I'd wondered who drained the swimming pool. Been 4 days and I'm still hiding in the attic"

"It's not fair for people to keep comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler was a decorated war hero and qualified leader."

"What did Freddy Mercury have for breakfast? Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)"

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

"GIRL: l'm tired of bad boys and their bs. I want a good boy, for a change. ME [clearly a golden retriever]: *turns to camera and winks*"