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Joke of the Day

"I asked my German professor... ...""can you tell me how many credit hours of German this school offers?"" She replied, ""nine."" ""Well, thanks anyways,"" I said."

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees"

"Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up? Because if they slept with two legs up they'd fall over"

"Whatisthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?"

"What would happen if black widow spiders were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to the hospital."

"The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number."

"What do you call a Jewish wookie? Jewie get it? Chewie? from star wars?"

"What happens when a necrophiliac goes to a funeral? He gets mourning wood."

"My dad told me his New Years resolution was to embrace his mistakes. He hugged my sister and I :("